Pride offers LGBTQ youth opportunities for community

By Adrian Gibbons and Mary Stapp

For teenagers, many of whom are not out, Pride month can mean everything. Whether it is a parade where they can watch from the sidelines or the solidarity expressed in rainbow flags posted around their towns, some LGBTQ teens get quiet comfort in knowing the celebration simply exists.

A spring survey by the Urban Media Health Project, a D.C.-based non-profit that teaches high school students from under-resourced communities to report on health issues, asked young people how they show their pride.

“I’m not out to my parents due to safety concerns, so I try to show my pride by including the colors of my flag into what I wear (purple, blue and pink), and by supporting my friends who are out as well as those who aren’t,” one teen responded anonymously.

This year Pride is more important than ever because teens have been more alone than ever.

Aileen Delgado, 17, is an ally who lives in Miami and said she has seen friends struggling. “Quarantine might have restricted them to staying in abusive/homophobic households with nowhere else to go,” she said. “Pride means continuing to support those friends.”

For Arin Jayes, a 30-year-old non-binary trans man living in Baltimore, Pride has always been important.

“But if COVID-19 has taught me anything, it is that time is not guaranteed, and we must consider what makes life worth living and embrace it,” he said in an email. “Every time Pride month rolls around I recommit to my true self, but this year it feels all the more important.”

Capital Pride Alliance is hosting events all month intended to spread pride throughout D.C. This year, to stay safe, they organized a “Colorful Pridemobile Parade,” a caravan that travelled throughout the city instead of a localized parade centered around Dupont Circle. They asked residents in diverse neighborhoods to decorate their yards and homes with colors, flags, and symbols of pride for the June 12 event.

Still to come is a virtual gathering for teens on June 24. Capital Pride is teaming up with Prince George’s County Memorial Library System to host a Teen Pride Lounge from 5-7 p.m. Up to 200 people can join in for free by registering via the Capital Pride website.

Importance of Pride to youth

Dave Daswell, 30, of Silver Spring, attended many Pride events as a young person, and recommends others do, too.

“It is a big thing,” said Daswell, who is a concierge at a D.C.-area hotel. “You’ll be surprised who you meet. You meet really good, important people who maybe could become a mentor for you, or maybe to help you grow in different areas. So networking is good, especially at Pride, because people come from all types of lives and backgrounds.”

Radiah Jamil, a rising high school senior at Brooklyn Latin School, has attended Pride events in New York City, and found them to be eye-opening for people like her who are outside the LGBTQ community.

“I’ve seen huge and vibrant Pride parades in-person where I live in NYC, and it has expanded the amount of LGBTQ representation I’ve had exposure to,” she said. “In the media and at school I think I was hardly exposed to LGBTQ obstacles or even people identifying as LGBTQ, so from the Pride month gatherings I’ve been able to visualize LGBTQ issues along with how much of the population supports or is LGBTQ outside of my limited circle of people.”

For young people, the fight continues. A small group of high school students in a Prince George’s County, Md. Gay Straight Alliance were able to meet virtually twice a week throughout the pandemic.

Even though they could not be together in person, the group bonded through their struggles, sitting in their bedrooms, on computer screens. One 11th-grade student who identifies as gay but is not out to his mother, told her it was a meeting of the Chinese Honor Society. Another 10th grader who identifies as bisexual shared her feelings about being rejected by her mother because of her religion. Another talked about his father’s toxic masculinity that destroyed their relationship.

LGBTQ youth can derive similar support from Pride events. Those who are out get positive reinforcement; those who are not out can still participate because Pride is for everyone.

Pride events offered an opportunity for 19-year-old Eden Ungar, of Louisville, Ky., to celebrate with her family and friends. Her first Pride, she attended with friends. The next year, when she was out, she told her family and they participated with her.

“Pride means being able to live uninhibitedly and as fully myself,” said Ungar “This is so important to me because I’ve been afraid to do that at times in the past.”

Adrian Gibbons is a 2021 graduate of Boston University, where he was a film major. A trans male, Gibbons is an intern with the Urban Health Media Project. Mary Stapp teaches journalism in D.C- area high schools and is the D.C. state director of the Journalism Education Association. This article is part of our 2021 Youth Pride issue in partnership with the Urban Health Media Project.

This story was published in the Washington Blade